I was asked by a friend to share more generally some thoughts I had shared in a personal coorespondence. These thoughts related to the Christian’s struggle to remain pure and whole, and not to seek ultimate affirmation in things that cannot in the end deliver. I do not always “feel” the full reality of my own words, but they are true, and since asked, I share them:
“I know in my innermost being that God loves me. I am secure and safe here. No one can take that away from me. No person made that happen for me, not my wife, not my kids, not my church, not my parents, not my friends. Whether or not I get this or that satisfaction in life I am still good.
I can suppress urges if they are not of benefit to others because I know in the end that all things will be given to me. I don’t need to find myself really. I have been found. I don’t know me but He knows me. I trust His judgment as to what is best and right for me. I am rooted in my hope so I can tolerate more things in the present. I am still not as I want to be. I am still undisciplined, and still deal with issues of loss and anger, but at the root I am taken care of. If I live I live to do good. if I die I just die. No biggie. It’s the living that’s hard.”